Where were you 5 years ago?
I was 18 years old at the time, and was a pretty messed up individual. I was drinking a bottle of vodka most days, and was too depressed to care about anybody else.
My father, Neil, was still a selfish twat and I was still trying to impress him, so that maybe he'd have as much time for me as he had for my older sister. But that was never going to happen.
I was sober at my 18th birthday party, because I was supposed to be singing with Neil's band but it never happened. Neil let the other band run all the way through and I was gutted, especially as it was pretty much the only thing we'd done together. I thought, I'm an adult now, why is he still making me feel like this?
At that point, I also was having trouble eating, which was probably a result of the drinking. By my 18th birthday party, I was wearing a size 6 corset and it wasn't even tight. At my worst, i was something between 6 stone 8 and 7 stone. This lasted about 6 months, until my boss hauled me into her office and put me on the spot about what I'd been eating (or not, as it were). She switched one of my afternoon shifts so that I could get to a doctor.
The doctor gave me antacids because the vodka was ruining the lining of my stomach, which was making eating more difficult, but my mindset was already so warped that I didn't take them and just carried on.
It took quite a long time to get to where I am now (sober after almost 2 years) but I learned alot on the way. I'm not going to be ridiculous and tell you something that you already know, we all know what drink is capable of doing to our minds and our bodies. It felt like it was working, but it really wasn't. Now, I'm a whole lot healthier and better for Rhian ^_^
I hope my honesty might reach you in some way, because I know I'm not the only person who feels like this sometimes.
Loveage as ever, Claire <3 xxxxxx
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