Tuesday, 19 April 2011

30 Day 'About Me' Challenge - Day 5

Day 5: Something you are really looking forward to:

I am REALLY looking forward to the upcoming marriage of my in-laws-to-be!
Cal's dad John, and stepmum Val, are getting married this October and it's going to be so lovely! Oooh, and i have the most AWESOME Hell Bunny dress that I got just for the wedding! 

         THE DRESS!!!!                    
         THE HAPPY COUPLE!!!!!

I just know it's going to be an amazing wedding, they 
are a brilliant couple and I can't wait to be an official
part of the family (when me and Cal tie the knot.....
whenever that might be!!)

But i really need to find a pair of shoes that'll go...........

Loveages! <3 <3 <3

Monday, 18 April 2011

30 Day 'About Me' Challenge - Day 4

5 Interesting Things About Your Family:

Hmmm. My family. Quite a strange lot. 

(1) All four of my siblings have been abroad at some point, but I have not.
(2) My maternal grandparents nearly lived in South Africa when my mum and Uncle Ray were young. Lucky they had to come back! Or I'd not be here!
(3) My mum has a degree in baking.
(4) My uncle Ray is a musical genius, and there's not alot that he can't play. 
(5) My stepmother-in-law, Val, used to be a part of the Filipino Royal Family.

loveages!!! <3 xxx

Sunday, 17 April 2011

30 Day 'About Me' Challenge - Day 3

A Picture Of You When You Were A Baby:

I thought I'd give you more of a 'timeline', rather than just one picture ^_^
In these photos, my age ranges from my 1st birthday, to age 20 <3

                        <----- me with face paint on at age 4
                        my first birthday! my mummy made
                        the cake                        --------------->                                                          
          <----- me aged 4!
          me, my folks, my auntie Fi 
          & unk Ray, my big sis Chelle
          and big cousin Amanda ------>                                                   

       <-----me, my wee sis Samantha & big sis Chelle, at Sammi's Holy Communion

                       me at Halloween aged about 8 ------------------->

     <---- me and my amazing grandad, James Sutherland. R.I.P.

    me at my thinnest, my 18th birthday party ------------>

   <------------me and my mum at my 18th


<----------- me and my tremendous Uncle Ray

                me and one of my bestest mates, G  ---------->

 <-------------- me and G again!

 <----------- me and one of my besties, Iain

         <----------- Johno, me and G

            me and my dad, Billy ---->

   <----------------- me and my besties,
     Louise and Mandy

       me, my wee sis Sam, and my big sis Chelle, on Chelle's 21st birthday ---------->

                                (below) me and Chelle

   <----- my folks

So, there's my life in pictures! That'll be all for now!
Loveages <3 xxx

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Rhian Facts!

Here's the lowdown on all things Rhian, just because she's awesome and everyone loves her!

1 - Date of birth: 21-01-09
2 - Time of birth: 8:10pm
3 - Weight at birth: 7lb 11oz
4 - Full name: Rhian Ray McNeil (she has her dad's last name)
5 - She's named after my awesome Uncle Ray.
6 - She's also named after the Fleetwood Mac song, 'Rhiannon'
7 - The first jar food she ate was Beef Stew. She hated it!
8 - Her favourite stuffed toy used to be a wee giraffe named Gerald.
9 - Rhian's first word was 'hiya'
10 - She's about to become a big sister, her dad's girlfriend was due 5 days ago.
11 - She can't go to bed without being read to.  
12 - She can't sleep without her doggie, Brandi, and her hedgehog, Bub.
13 - Her first pet was Rhino the hamster (at her dad's)
14 - And her 2nd and 3rd pets were Bunny and Havok (mine!)
15 - Everytime the traffic light goes green, she yells "green man! yaaayyyyy!"
16 - She calls most of her drawings 'sunshine'
17 - Her favourite TV programme is Waybuloo, and she loves Lau Lau the best.
18 - She's obsessed with Hello Kitty and Peppa Pig.
19 - During EVERY car journey, she sings Balamory.
20 - She LOVES apples.
21 - She's not allergic to anything.
22 - Her favourite music is by Lady Gaga and 30 Seconds To Mars. She particularly loves Bad Romance, either version.
23 - She knows what her name looks like.
24 - She can count to 10.
25 - She calls Hello Kitty, 'Hello Kitty Cat'
26 - Fudge and Milkybar are her favourite sweeties.
27 - If she could, she'd live in my gran and grandad's big trampoline.
28 - She loves going down the slide.
29 - Her favourite pen is a neon yellow one :)
30 - She doesn't like getting her hair washed.
31 - She likes flashing her belly button.
32 - She's used her potty twice!!!
33 - Whenever someone says to her "you're gorgeous", Rhian says "no, Rhian beautiful!"
34 - When she wants something, she says "pleeeeeeeease!" with a cute grin.
35 - She is the absolute light of my life. And she knows it!

And that is all for now! Loveages!!!

<3 <3 <3 Claire xxxx

Friday, 15 April 2011

Just The Way It Is - BPD

There's not a huge amount that you know about me at this point, but I now know that some of the things I've seen, felt, and still feel, are things not everyone can talk about.
Recently, I've been inspired by Emma Louise. She spoke honestly about her pre-natal depression, and her ongoing depression. Emma is a strong mother who obviously loves her son Cameron millions, but still points out that having depression can make things that bit harder. Mental illness is still a taboo subject for most, and that is probably why very few people ever hear about our personal struggle, because we are scared of being judged too harshly. Someone I'm close to told me, during one of my worst spells, that "depression isn't even a real illness. Just cheer up."
This, inevitably, hurt me more and made me feel pretty stupid. It took me a while to get over that and just accept that everyone will always have their own view on these things. It's just completely absurd to me, but that's just me. 

I was diagnosed with depression, after a series of psychologists and psychiatrists, at the age of 16. They gave me antidepressants, but I didn't take them.I didn't have the required level of patience to wait for them to work. I was self-harming at the time, because it was almost the only thing that made it feel better. I'd been cutting myself since the age of 13, and I couldn't stop. I did it so badly once that i ended up in the Royal Infirmary for the night. I stayed in a hostel at the time, and came back with a bandage on. One of my friends commented on it, and I just lied and said it was a sprain. I had to cover it up all the time, because the fear of being judged is always there. 
I just drank all day, got stoned, cut myself and cried alot. This might seem a little bizarre to some people, but I knew not much else. I was at my lowest point.

There was a whole lot more to come my way before I could start to feel ok again, however. The drinking damaged my stomach, and I'll probably never drink vodka again. I have hundreds of scars, have seen many doctors, and have taken many pills.
In August 2009, I was finally given a correct diagnosis. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which in short, makes the sufferer have quick mood changes, and a warped self-image among many other things. I am now on the correct level of medication, and I just have to take each day as it comes. I still get my really rubbish days where I just cry for completely no reason, but not as often now. 

I'm not cured. I'll never be cured. But my illness isn't going to get the better of me like it used to, I just need to keep it under control. There isn't much else that can be done about it. BPD is a part of me, and I am no longer ashamed of it. 

So I am sending my loveages to Emma, because although we've both been through different things in our lives, she has inspired me to get this out <3 xxx

Thursday, 14 April 2011

30 Day About Me Challenge - Day 2


My name is Claire Miller. In French, Claire means 'clear, bright'. True, really :D 
Miller is my stepdad Billy and my mum's surname. My last name used to be Sutherland, but I changed it to Miller in 2007. I felt that being a Sutherland was associating me with Neil (my biological dad) too much, because he was never really a dad. I didn't see the point in sharing his name anymore. Changing it to Miller is one of the best things I've ever done. It still needs changing on my birth certificate, as I only changed it by deed poll, so I'll get cracking on that! 
Ooh, also, my mum said that had I been born a boy, I'd have been named Andrew! 

loveages as ever! <3 xxx

Gorgeous Giveaways!!!

This post is just to let you know that two of my gorgeous fellow bloggers have giveaways running!

First of all, we have the adorable Rachel Crawford's cute giveaway from Something Kawaii :D

 Follow This Link to enter! 

The second lovely giveaway is from the new blog by Joanna Maxwell, A Little Taste Of Heaven. It's a Mystery Giveaway, but I know it'll be awesome! I've already entered! :D

Enter here: Joanna's Giveaway!

Loveages as ever! Til next time <3 xxx

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Cal McPhail & the Miracle Drug

This post is about something that means alot to me, and also, especially, my fiance Cal. 
Cal (38) has experienced, first-hand, the devastating effects of cancer. He lost his beloved mother Irene to ovarian and bone cancer in 2006, after two and a half years of pain. The cancer started in her ovaries, then gradually spread through the bone. She was cared for by MacMillan and now Cal wants to give something back.
A photographer by trade, he is choosing to use his skill to make calendars through his new website, Miracle Drug Calendars. The idea is to have different types of calendars (ie. blondes; redheads; young lads etc.) I'll be modelling it myself! I'm more than happy to get my kit off for a good cause, as are many, it seems! Many people want to get involved, and that's only the beginning!
Miracle Drug will also be having its own event night, filled with all sorts of fun! There are already some people on board, helping this ship to sail. 
One of these awesome people is Cara Hunter-Liddle who has just recently been made political correspondent for STV. With the combination of her brain and Cal's skill, this is sure to be a success. 
   On the left here is an example of what this calendar will look like, using a shot taken for the last calendar he made in 2007.  
I am very much looking forward to taking part in this, as I have also been devastated by cancer (I lost my grandad to it in 2004) and if anyone has any contacts, or wants to model for the calendar, you're more than welcome! Just give me a shout, you know where to find me! 

Miracle Drug Calendars
Cal's Facebook

And that is all for now! I'll be writing again soon, so keep reading! Loveages to my gorgeous followers, as ever <3 xxxx

 left - Cal modelling for his calendar in 2007
middle - Cal and his mum, when he was just 15
bottom - beautiful Irene, 5/2/46 - 21/1/06 R.I.P. <3 XXX

30 Day About Me Challenge - Day 1

Where were you 5 years ago?

I was 18 years old at the time, and was a pretty messed up individual. I was drinking a bottle of vodka most days, and was too depressed to care about anybody else. 
My father, Neil, was still a selfish twat and I was still trying to impress him, so that maybe he'd have as much time for me as he had for my older sister. But that was never going to happen.
I was sober at my 18th birthday party, because I was supposed to be singing with Neil's band but it never happened. Neil let the other band run all the way through and I was gutted, especially as it was pretty much the only thing we'd done together. I thought, I'm an adult now, why is he still making me feel like this?
At that point, I also was having trouble eating, which was probably a result of the drinking. By my 18th birthday party, I was wearing a size 6 corset and it wasn't even tight. At my worst, i was something between 6 stone 8 and 7 stone. This lasted about 6 months, until my boss hauled me into her office and put me on the spot about what I'd been eating (or not, as it were). She switched one of my afternoon shifts so that I could get to a doctor.
The doctor gave me antacids because the vodka was ruining the lining of my stomach, which was making eating more difficult, but my mindset was already so warped that I didn't take them and just carried on.
It took quite a long time to get to where I am now (sober after almost 2 years) but I learned alot on the way. I'm not going to be ridiculous and tell you something that you already know, we all know what drink is capable of doing to our minds and our bodies. It felt like it was working, but it really wasn't. Now, I'm a whole lot healthier and better for Rhian ^_^
I hope my honesty might reach you in some way, because I know I'm not the only person who feels like this sometimes.

Loveage as ever, Claire <3 xxxxxx 

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Droolage!!! Self Amusement ^_^

Right, here is a topic that I'm pretty familiar with! 
Hot men. They are everywhere, and of course it is all a matter of opinion. So this is my opinion, seeing as how I'm writing it ;) My friends say I have very little taste, generally, but that's mental. I mean, look at Cal!!!

(that's him there, by the way) ------------------>

So anyway, I am with a hottie. But, of course, he is not the only hot man in the world. 
There are many, in fact.
Most of them are super-rich and famous, proper intelligent and absolutely unattainable, but of course, that's why they call it eye candy!!!

Recently, the website for More Magazine put up a list of the 50 Hottest Men on their website. I had a nose through, as you do, and was impressed that they listed Jared Leto!
If you know me even a little bit, you'll be aware of the amount of drool I lose every time I see a picture of him anywhere. I can't help it, its merely a natural reaction. Kinda like closing your eyes when you sneeze!

So, this is my shortlist of the 10 hottest men in the world (I'm not counting Cal here, but only because he's too awesome hehe!)

RYAN PHILLIPPE!                

                                      AND OF COURSE.......THE JARED LETO!!!

So there you have it! That is my idea of eye candy....What's yours? ;)

Loveage as ever! Til next time,

Claire xxxxxxxxxxxxx <3

The Facts: (because i deleted the last post of facts by mistake!)

Wee facts about me, just to give you an idea of what i'm like ^_^

1 - i have the best birthday ever, because it's exactly 6 months between my birthday and Christmas!
2 - i'd be a vegetarian, were it not for my gran's awesome chicken curry.
3 - i never go a single day without reading from a book.
4 - i have really bad emitophobia (fear of vomiting) and it's a total hindrance.
5 - i have 4 tattoos, but no piercings atm (used to have lip and ears pierced).
6 - i have never been abroad, and i don't own a passport.
7 - i've been writing songs for about 15 years.
8 - i'm one of 5. two younger brothers, one younger sister and one older sister.
9 - my favourite animal is the giraffe, i just think they're incredible!
10 - if i had my way, everything would be purple :)
11 - i don't have a middle name. it was meant to be Fraser, but it was left out of the birth certificate accidentally!
12 - i know more or less everything about Pink Floyd :)
13 - chocolate is like my oxygen.
14 - i just quit smoking 2 and a half months ago, after 8 years!
and this is the biggie, the one that i admitted to my mate last night, and he looked rightly horrified....
15 - i don't know all the words to Flower Of Scotland. (hangs head in utter shame).

And that is your lot for now! 
My first giveaway will be happening soon, so keep following me ^_^ there's more on the way!!

Loveage as ever! <3 xxx

Friday, 8 April 2011

A Day Of Fun In The Sun!!

Today was supposed to be one of the hottest days of the year. And it didn't disappoint!
Rhian was completely puffed out by bedtime. We went to the park, and played on the swings and the slide, home for lunch, then off to her great gran and grandad's house for dinner and fun in the back garden! 
A big trampoline, a slide and a swing, what more could a two year old girl want? (And a 22-year old as well!)
She's been her usual cute and cheeky self today!   Here's an example of our conversations:
Me - "Rhian, are you gorgeous?"
Rhian - "No, Rhian beautiful!"
Me - "Is Cal gorgeous?"
Rhian - "Emmm, nut!"
*evil laugh*

And another of our scintillating exchanges today went like this:
Rhian - "No"
Me - "Yes!"
Rhian - "NO!"
Me - "Yes"
Rhian - "No" *evil giggle*
                                           .......... And so on and so forth!!

Before bedtime, we had a big deep bath and played with penguins, duckie, and bath crayons! Rhian didn't decide to vandalise me this time, and actually looked at me funny when i drew a line of green on her arm :)

After all that, the wee princess was totally knackered! So it was storytime, which tonight, was stories in her Waybuloo annual (if you're familiar with Cbeebies, you know what I'm talking about)

<-------- just in case, here is Waybuloo! Cute...but it won't make your child like Einstein or anything. Think I might have to start teaching Rhian some Latin, or Quantum Physics or something, to counter the possible effects of watching Cbeebies!

Anyway, I'm yapping on. So, with Brandi the dog and Bub the hedgehog in tow, Rhian said "night night Mummy, love you" and went off to Dreamland!

I always wonder what she dreams about (she never stops talking, not even when she's sleeping!) but I'll never find out, so I like to imagine she's dreaming about nice things. She sings in her sleep too!

Basically, she's just awesome! Keeps me busy, tires me out, makes me laugh, and runs away when i ask her for a bit of whatever she's munching. Cheeky animal.

Now I'm smiling to myself like the sentimental emotional mummy-type that I am, so now I'm offski! 

Loveage, as ever!!!! <3 <3 <3  

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Rachel Crawford - a cutie with a cute competition!

Hello Again! This time i'm writing about the blog by the cute Rachel Crawford!
I have won a previous competition she's had in the past (a wee box full of retro sweets - FAB!), and her prizes are almost as sweet as she is :)
The thing i love most about her blog is that she is just a normal, lovely person with an enormous sweet tooth!  here is the link that will take you directly to her comp, but you should take a wander around her blog, you'll love it, i promise!

and this is the prize that's up for grabs! 


the competition closes Wednesday 13th April at 12pm, so don't miss out!!

and, as ever, LOVEAGE!!! <3 <3 <3


getting to know Rhian

My daughter's name is Rhian Ray, and she's 2. her birthday is 21st january, and she's awesome!
her favourite things are: Hello Kitty, Milkybar, her cuddly doggie Brandi, her cuddly hedgehog Bub, and fish fingers.

to the right is a photo taken of us in the bath, after she vandalised us both with her bath crayons, which she looks most forward to at bathtime.

she can't go to bed unless i've read to her, and i have to be wearing my dressing gown for her to snuggle in, or she's not impressed!

her favourite music includes Cheryl Cole, 30 Seconds To Mars, AFI, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails and U2. she also likes a bit of Oasis, but that doesn't come from my side!

currently, she has a new thing where she yells "rangers!!" while punching the air. it's unfunny, obviously, but it's a result of unsubtle 'encouragement' by my fiance Cal. don't worry, i'll be teaching her that being a Tim is much better in life.
photo on the left, clockwise: studio shot of us three, taken July 10; me and Rhian, taken Aug 10, us three at Edinburgh Zoo, Easter 10, and me and Rhian with our tongues out! Sept 10!

Rhian-isms: pretending she's a Rangers supporter in order to see my pouty face and laugh at me; saying "pleeeeeeeeease!" with the cutest smile in order to get what she wants. it works; picking her own shoes, usually the pink fluffy ones cos they look like my slippers; pretending to go to sleep and fake-snoring; telling me to phone people, such as her granny or her auntie Chelle, and telling them about her dinner or something, then running away from the phone. i believe she still reckons that they live inside the phone and wonders how they got in there. she also seems to think she's the one changing the traffic lights at times, and cheers when it turns green :)

There is a hell of a lot more to tell about the amazing princess that is Rhian Ray, but that'll come later. these are just the basics, so you get to know her a little bit more! i hope you'll keep reading, there will be loads of fun stuff on my blog that Rhian will get involved in, and she's too cute to resist!

Loveage and Huggage to all <3 xxx